Someone Call The Whaaambulance For The GOP (Obamacare Will Cover The Cost)

Let’s take a step back and analyze the gigantic bitchfest that has erupted in the right wing since yesterday’s decision. Despite the fact the president has “won” a massive political victory by not having his signature policy achievement struck down, there are a ton of reasons for conservatives to be ecstatic about yesterday. Of course being happy for these people (versus being vindictive assholes) is a kind of a foreign concept, so I’m just going to list why they need to pull their head out of their collective asses.

For one the decision to call the ACA a “tax”- instead of a law derived from the power of congress to regulate interstate commerce is potentially a massive win for conservative ideology. While the dissent was (as Chris Hayes called it) “full-out Richard-Epstein, constitution-in-exile, back-to-Lochner fire breathing”, the majority opinion has the potential itself to overturn a 70 plus years of precedent having to do with the federal regulation of interstate commerce. Frankly as a liberal who believes that “state” power runs counter to the founding concept of constitution (versus the awful circus that was the Articles of Confederation)  this fact alone scares the living fuck out of me. I’m not one of those Democrats who is celebrating Justice Roberts “bravery” in this instance, rather I feel as though he found a clever way to ratfuck us in the long term by taking some political heat in the short term. He is no Earl Warren.

Although I reserve the right to laugh my ass off if similar billboards start popping up

Furthermore the entire fucking law was designed by the Republican party. There is virtually no difference between this plan and the one originally envisioned by the insane clown posse at the Heritage Foundation in the late 1980’s, the idea championed by Bob Dole in the 1990’s, and the one actually implemented by Romney in the 2000’s. If the right wing decided to stop hyperventilating about COMMUNISM® for ten seconds they could actually use the law’s genealogy to their political advantage. Instead Republicans have decided to take all of their cues from geniuses like Dick Armey or Rand Paul, so they will continue to look like cry baby fools for perpetuity.

Finally lets remember that 30 million people will now have affordable health insurance. I know that the entire basis for conservative ideology is the fear that someone else might actually share in your success (and not “deserve it” as much as your entitled lilly-white ass). However even a conservative has to celebrate the fact that we are finally potentially joining the rest of the industrialized world in implementing universal health coverage. If anything you are just shooting yourselves in the foot politically by continuing your vociferously sniveling about the loss of “freedom” in the face of people finally getting a break in this hobbesian world of neo-libertarian American economics.

So in the end I have one piece of advice for my dejected friends on the right: you still “won” you whiny motherfuckers. The basis of this policy is firmly grounded in your ideology. Legal precedent has been established that is very much in your favor. Oh and people will now be less likely to go bankrupt due to medical costs. Perhaps if ya’ll participated in the process of developing this law with the President who was more than willing to work for you (much to the chagrin of folks like me) you could even take credit for the eventual success of the plan. Instead you choose the path of obstruction (which didn’t work) and then litigiousness (which has also now dramatically failed). Live with your dumbass decision and stop this self-indulgent sobbing- you are disappointing St. Ronnie’s ghost and Andrew Breitbart’s cocaine-addled corpse.



About stefanbc

I am an attorney who works mainly in criminal defense, child welfare, and medical marijuana advocacy. I live in Long Beach with my wife and four pets. View all posts by stefanbc

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