Closeted Congressman Consumes Chick-Fil-A Callously

As you unfortunately already know, the bible bangers and their increasingly fat ass hypocrite cable news pastor have decided to make it “Eat this horrible shit in order to prove how much you hate gays” day. As a result waistlines and drive-thrus have been swelling across the heartland’s disparate suburban strip malls as part of this country’s never ending culture war of stupidity. At this point I’m pretty sure that if the soldiers on D-Day knew that they were helping save the free world for debates like this to be carried out in the name of FREEDOM® they would have happily marched right back into the Atlantic.

Since this most recent wingnut feast day also happen to fall in the midst of a heated election, enterprising politicians have also taken advantage of the insanity in order to remain relevant. Already we have been treated to Sarah Palin and Rick Santorum try desperately to latch on to this latest kurfuffle, so it was already a matter of time before someone on Mike Rogers’ famous list decided to hilariously inject themselves into this.

Oh Senator Ham Biscuits, why did you bring this on yourself?

Lindsey Graham, the lame ass chicken-hawk Senator from South Carolina (no the other one), and the third member in America’s least favorite gang outside of the Aryan Brotherhood, has long been rumored to be a closeted homosexual. As you would expect this also means that he has one of the most homophobic voting records in congress and he occasionally has to dodge the issue when some even more repugnant asshole tries to haranguing him about it. But there he is today, posing for the camera while enjoying his “I ain’t gay” sandwich. Good for him.

One day we are going to have to explain this era of dumbassery to our children. It is not going to be easy.

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About stefanbc

I am an attorney who works mainly in criminal defense, child welfare, and medical marijuana advocacy. I live in Long Beach with my wife and four pets. View all posts by stefanbc

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