Don’t Be Fooled, Christie And King Are Still Full Of Shit

Christ Christie, pictured here in the rare instance where he is NOT yelling at someone

Christ Christie, pictured here in the rare instance where he is NOT yelling at someone

Forgive me for not joining the ranks of my fellow liberals who are celebrating the likes of Christ Christie or Peter King in their public whining about the soon to be departed 112th Congress and their incompetence in passing the Senate’s Sandy bill. These motherfuckers have been lifelong members of the most demagogic political force in the history of this country and are (once again) exploiting the extraordinary shallowness of our political press for useful soundbites in future elections. This current complaint about John Boehner’s ability to control the vandals in the House is about as genuine as any other piece of political theater from their party, and it should be disregarded by liberals and moderates as we would any other blathering piece of nonsense from the GOP.

For a bit of context let’s remember how Christie first became a prominent national figure as a Federal Prosecutor (and a particularly reprehensible one at that). Having worked on both sides of the aisle I can tell you that Prosecutors, not Defense Attorneys, are the real slimeballs in the legal profession. Defense Attorney’s (especially PD’s), pretty much universally believe in the right to a solid defense no matter how despicable their client is. Prosecutor’s on the other hand come in three different flavors: nincompoops, sociopaths, and  self-riteous politicians in training. Christie’s fat ass plowed through door number three like the Kool Aid Man and never looked back, taking his braggadocios wannabe Tony Soprano “JERSEY STYLE” act to an adoringly stupid national media.

Christie’s cute little monologue yesterday for the camera’s was part of the same cynical strategy to enter the White House that he has employed since 2009. It is no different from his constant public berating of school teachers or his MEMEME performance at Tampa for the RNC convention. He is a master politician who knows that our political press is desperate to anoint a new “moderate” Republican to celebrate (especially now that Paul Ryan has been exposed as the Randian asshole that he always was), and he is cognizant that his act makes for excellent TV.

Democrats who are joining this pile on of praise for the Governor need to take a few dozen steps back and separate themselves from the theatrics that a professional asshole like Christie is currently employing and either a) ignore him for this obvious move to excite the Politico editorial board for 2016, or b) ignore him for this complaining about the cruelty of his party only after it affects him personally. Even on this point Christie isn’t even close to being consistent . As Pareene points out, Christie’s commitment to the cause of getting Republican’s elected has previously lead him to supporting the same goddamn congressmen who have always publicly declared their opposition for Sandy relief:

Christie who, in September 2012, headlined a fundraiser for Iowa congressman Steve King, who is not just one of the craziest members of the GOP crazy wing, but who also announced a month later that he probably wouldn’t vote for relief money for Sandy victims for the same reason he refused to vote for federal aid for victims of Hurricane Katrina: Because he was pretty sure people spent the relief money on “Gucci bags and massage parlors.” This is a man Christie wanted to win reelection, in order to help Republicans maintain control of the House of Representatives, so that they could continue ignoring the priorities and desperate needs of liberal, urban coastal states like New Jersey.

Peter King (R-IRA), is even more pathetic in his crowing about his party’s insane reasoning for denying the east coast a blank check to rebuild after Sandy. This is a man who has personified the vicious cruelty of the GOP for a generation now, having attacked muslims, women, and muslim women in order to troll his way into a permanent seat in the House despite never actually accomplishing much of anything as a legislator (besides getting guns from Gadaffi to the IRA). After his own recent votes cutting food stamps, clean water, and heating assistance to low income people across the country, King feels as though his party might have a bit of a compassion problem?

To put matters in perspective, it is King who actually had the power to pressure the House Leadership into doing something for the victims of Sandy through his votes for Speaker and Majority leader. And what did King do after whining to the press about the “knife in the back” that Boehner inflicted on the residents of the east coast? He fucking voted for him again for Speaker because Peter King is a weepy coward.

So remember this one rule fellow liberals, there are no “good ones” left on the other side. The moderate to slightly-palatable-yet-still-annoying conservatives became Democrats a long time ago. What is left are the political opportunists who are hoping that we are distracted by their theatrics long enough to forget just how awful they all are.

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About stefanbc

I am an attorney who works mainly in criminal defense, child welfare, and medical marijuana advocacy. I live in Long Beach with my wife and four pets. View all posts by stefanbc

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